


The Break-Up Game

by natashabartin



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, In a way, Insecurity, M/M, Miscommunication, Wade is an idiot, and Peter won't take any shit, kinda domestic, wade whines a lot too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 14:39:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1986729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natashabartin/pseuds/natashabartin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Wade tries to do what's "best" for Peter and break up with him, multiple times, but, somehow, the brat manages to see through him every time like he's the Invisible Woman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Break-Up Game

**Author's Note:**

> My first finished Spideypool fic. I think they might be a little OC. Sorry about that, I'll make sure to get some better stuff up soon. Also: this is MOSTLY based from The Amazing Spider-Man, but there are tidbits that are from other Spider-Man shows/movies.

Wade and Peter got together a few months before Peter graduated high school. It was... weird, even in Wade's opinion, that they actually _got together_ , (since relationships aren't exactly Wade's thing) but everything seems to be weird when it comes to their relationship. Not exactly a _bad_ weird, either. Which is scary. He'll never admit it to anyone, especially not Peter, but emotions are scary and being comfortable is scarier still. Because once you get comfortable, somebody or something will tip your mattress.

Anyway. They worked together some, before they decided that they found each other hella attractive, and tumbled into bed together while their blood was still pumping with adrenaline from a freshly won fight. They were then awoken by Maria Hill, who had decided she had to find S.H.I.E.L.D.'s teenage wonder personally, and possibly save him from the bad man Deadpool; her whole face turned red. It was _golden._

[Her face wasn’t golden, though, it was red.]

{I think they get what we mean.}

But despite the embarrassment, she now winks at them whenever they’re around each other, and will make off-handed, totally unprofessional comments around them. (Which is kind of out of character, but Wade doubts she gets embarrassed much, so that's probably how she deals with it. It’s still funny though.)

Either way, Peter literally _forced_ Wade to take him on a date. And another. And, you guessed it, another. No matter how many times Wade tried to tell him, "You're not my type," "I'm not interested," "Look, it was fun, but I wasn't looking for anything more than a quick fuck," all to which he got a look, an eye roll, and a disbelieving, snarky, sometimes sarcastic comment in reply. _Nothing_ can deter that kid, once he knows what he wants. How can anybody _stand_ him? Wade's not even sure he can, even though he is glad for his persistence; after all, he _does_ want Peter, and, apparently, Peter wants him back.

Wade just doesn't get him. How could anybody want _Deadpool_? A _mercenary_? Everybody hates Deadpool, even Wade himself. But Peter—Peter doesn't. It really feels like Peter actually wants to be around him, wants to sit around and play video games with him, wants to try every single disgusting, hole-in-the-wall taco joint in New York City with him. Wants to _sleep_ with him, for fuck's sake! Nobody sane or sober wants to sleep with Wade, but, low and behold, most of the time, Peter is, and does.

So, when Peter asked Wade to be at his graduation, it wasn't really a question. Well, his exact words were, "Will you come to my graduation?" but what he was _really_ saying was, "Come to my graduation if you can, but if I find out you could and didn't, I'll cut your balls off." So Wade went, and even drove Aunt May, because he's _nice_ like that.

Peter was late, which pissed Wade off, and Gwen's speech was _bo-ring._ He just kept mentally groaning while keeping an eye out for Peter, who is going to get an _earful_. Probably not from Aunt May, though, who is too busy trying to figure out the digital camera in her hands to notice that Peter's not actually in his seat.

{Oh, we are _so_ bitching him out after the ceremony.}

[We had to sit through this whole speech! A speech made my his ex-girlfriend, no less! And he's not even here!]

He has to agree with the boxes on this one. But eventually, after an eternity (no, it didn’t just feel like one, it _was_ one), Gwen stops talking and they start handing out the diploma. Once they get close to Parker, Aunt May makes a frustrated noise, and hands off the camera to Wade. "I can't figure that damn thing out! Just, get a picture of Peter when he's called up, please."

"Oh, Auntie, you _know_ it makes me feel all tingly when you curse."

Aunt May laughs, before quickly realizing where she is and that she has to be _quiet_. Then she settles for a wide smile and hitting Wade on the arm, gently, even though she knows that she can't hurt him. It's incredibly sweet and endearing, the way that she does that; the way that she does everything is, really. Wade has a soft spot for her, and he really likes her because of the way that she’s never judged him by his appearance, and even tolerated his rudeness. Wade isn’t used to gentle scolding, which means it probably should have annoyed him. It didn’t.

She glances up at him, though, and pushes down the hood to his sweatshirt, which he’s just so used to wearing up now. That should really piss him off, but she just explains that he’s going to get overheated and she won’t have that, which is actually kinda nice. Though he doesn’t need to be taken care of, he really doesn’t.

When Peter’s name is called, Aunt May claps a little harder, and Peter runs up onto the stage, just in time. "Woo! You go, baby boy!" Wade woops, snapping a picture just as—just as Peter kisses Gwen on the cheek. He looks happy as he does it, ecstatic even, and Gwen does, too, and Wade forgets to snap another photo when he actually takes his diploma.

And that's when Wade realizes: _He deserves so much more than me_.

Of course, Wade has realized this before, many times before, but it's never hit him this hard. Because, now, Peter is getting his high school degree—something Wade could never achieve—and is going to go to _college_ and he would probably have been happier with Gwen, grown up to marry her and have 2.3 kids and probably a successful career. But _Wade_ is in the way of that. He needs to get out of the way.

After the ceremony, when all of the grads meet up with their families, Peter runs up to Aunt May and gives her a big hug. They both seem happier than he's even seen either of them, and Wade feels even more secluded that usual, especially considering his realization. He snaps a picture of them, anyway, because Aunt May would want it.

Next, though, Peter wraps his arms around Wade and tugs him down for a kiss. Chaste, considering Aunt May is standing right next to them, but it still feels... nice. Not that Wade'll admit to liking, or wanting, such affectionate things, ever. And the smile that Peter gives him when he pulls away, well, he wants to see that every day.

Peter turns back to Aunt May, who pulls him in for another hug. (Wade has a theory that Aunt May runs on hugs.) When she pulls back again, she grabs for his diploma. "Let me see that." The look of pride on her face as she reads out loud, "This certificates that Peter Benjamin Parker has fulfilled the requirements for graduation prescribed by the Board of Education, and in testimony thereof is awarded this diploma, given under our hands and seal at New York City, New York," is probably the most loving thing that Wade has seen in his life.

"All the sweat and blood of high school, and all I get is this," Peter gripes as he takes back his diploma, but he's not really complaining. He's actually happy, and proud of himself, Wade can tell.

Aunt May's smile fades a bit as she softly says, "I wish he could have been here, Peter. He would have been so proud."

Peter's smile falters, though he tries to keep it up. "Yeah, I know. Me too."

The subject of Uncle Ben has always been an incredibly sensitive one for Peter and Aunt May both, so Wade avoids the topic like rotten chimichangas. He doesn't know much about the guy, except for the fact that he was like a father to Peter and died trying to do the right thing, which Peter always blamed himself for. Wade can relate to that, so he doesn't bring it up.

"Me three," Wade adds in, gently putting an arm around Aunt May's shoulders. "So, whadaya all say we go get some ice cream? I'm buyin'."

They both agree, and Wade teases Peter the whole way to the ice cream shop about being a fancy high school graduate, but that's the way that he says he's proud, because, fuck, he is _really_ proud. But it also makes him more determined to break up with Peter later, when they're alone.

He tries to savor every moment that they're eating their ice cream and on their way home, memorizes the way it feels when Peter takes his hand under the table, the way that Aunt May kisses his cheek when they drop her off at her house. He promises her to bring Peter home before curfew, and she just laughs and thanks him, although it's all teasing. For once, Wade _wasn't_ joking.

Peter knows something's up as soon as they leave Aunt May's house. "You've been pretty quiet." It's a statement, but also an invitation to open up, talk about whatever's bothering him.

Of course, he doesn't take the bait. "I'm just all choked up, you graduating high school, becoming a young man." He sniffs, and wipes an imaginary tear from his eye. "The days flew by too fast."

Peter still seems kind of suspicious, but lets it fly for now.

{We're not seriously breaking up with him, are we?}

[Of course we aren't. If we did, we wouldn't get any more of that _sweet_ spider ass.]

{It isn't _all_ about that, you know, even if you do have a point.}

"Shuddup," Wade mumbles, because he doesn't want to talk to them about this. (Peter ignores him talking to himself. He’s too used to it already.) He's already decided he's breaking up with Peter, and he's going to do it once they get to his place. He wants to be somewhere familiar when he loses Peter.

Peter keeps him relatively happy, relatively sane. Once Peter's out of his life, he'll be out of it again, hurting like he always is, inside and out. He'll probably starting taking a lot of jobs. Desperately flirt with anyone he wants to sleep with. Sleep with anyone who doesn't puke when they see him. He'll go back to how it used to be, even though he doesn't really want to.

 _It's for the best_ , he thinks, and the voices disagree with him loudly. He ignores them in preference of concentrating on Peter's hand in his as they ascend the stairs up to his apartment.

It's a small little thing, one bedroom, one bathroom, gross kitchen. The only expensive things in his apartment are his weapons and guns, which are kept in the closet ever since Peter started spending time here, and his flat screen TV, which he probably couldn't live without. Everything else is second-hand; the old sofa with suspicious stains, a worn out armchair, a kitchen table that needs a text book under one of the legs in order to stay level, a microwave that threatens to blow up every time it gets used. It's not a mansion, which he could probably afford, but it _is_ home. Especially with Peter there.

The younger man has managed to somehow make it nicer in the short time they've been dating, buying things to replace the old ones whenever they’re completely worn and he finds the time. And yeah, that's something any _normal_ person would do, especially with the shower curtain that Wade used to have that had moths always flying around it, but Wade isn't _normal_. Peter makes him feel almost like he could try and be, though.

Immediately when they walk in, Peter kicks off his shoes and lands on the couch. "Been a long day," he mumbles, voice muffled against the cushions. When he lifts his head, his face looks a bit disoriented, like anybody's does after stuffing their face into a cushion. The way that Peter looks at him, with so much _affection_ , with a look that’s telling Wade to get over there, even when he's _tired_... it makes Wade feel weird. Again, not a _bad_ weird, but...

"We should break up," Wade suddenly blurts, and _goddammit he didn't just want to blurt it out like that_. He _knows_ break up etiquette, even though he's actually never had to break up with somebody before. After all, nobody really wanted anything to do with him unless it was strictly business, otherwise they were crazy, slept with him once, and left within the hour. It was a lot easier back then.

{No, it wasn’t.}

Peter blinks up at him, and slowly pushes himself up to a sitting position. "What?" he asks, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. He's frowning, and Wade doesn't want to see that, so he looks everywhere but Peter's face. God, he's bad at this, he's not _used_ to breaking up with people, especially not somebody as wonderful as _Peter_.

{Oh god. Is he gonna cry? I hope he doesn't cry.}

[Abort mission! _Abort mission_!]

"I think that we should break up," Wade states again, and Peter just stares at him, so he continues. "Look, this has been great and all—but it really isn't working out." And, because he's a cliché idiot, he even adds in, "It's not you, it's me. Really."

"Really," Peter repeats, and by now he doesn't look so confused as he does annoyed and kinda angry. He stands up to walk around the couch, and Wade is 99.9% sure that the kid's going to kill him. "You want to break up." He sounds skeptical and slightly mocking. Wade is _not_ intimidated by the little punk.

"Yeah."

"Liar."

Now it's Wade's turn to be taken aback. "I am _not_ ," he argues, crossing his arms over his chest in a childish manner.

"Okay," Peter replies passively, nodding and setting his hands on his hips. "Why?"

Wade pauses.

[Uh.... he doesn't have boobs!]

{He already knows that doesn't bother us, moron.}

[I'm _you_ , you know. So you just called _yourself_ a moron.]

"You weren't at the graduation ceremony till the last minute," Wade finally says. He knows his reason is a lame one, but he wears a look of pride nonetheless. Peter looks _completely_ unamused, and the only thing that's probably keeping him from killing Wade is the fact that he _can't_ be killed.

It's obvious that Peter's patience is wearing thin. "I was saving people. I am still Spider-Man, you know. I don't see why that would bother you, anyway."

"I had to sit through your ex-girlfriend's _whole speech_. It was _boring_ , Peter. I almost fell asleep. Do you know how humiliating that would have been?"

Peter rolls his eyes, and Wade knows that all attempts at actually finalizing the break up are futile now. He doesn't get it. How does the kid do this? Usually Wade can act childish and crazy {Act? Yeah, okay} and people will write him off, leave, not even try, but Peter just keeps _pushing_. And Wade needs that.

Peter doesn't, though, which is why Wade is trying to break up with him.

"I thought you just said it was you, not me,” Peter points out, before stepping forward, closer to Wade. “I don't know what's wrong,” he continues, wrapping his arms around Wade's waist, and Wade had no choice but to hug him back. Seriously. No choice. "But when you wanna talk about it, we can. Just... don't be an idiot. I'll grind you up into hamburger if you break up with me."

Wade laughs, because he doesn't know what else to do. They end up watching _Rush Hour_ before falling asleep on the couch together, but Wade doesn't stop thinking about how the fuck he's supposed to break up with Peter.

***

Peter spends most of his time over at Wade's apartment now. It's like he's practically moved in during the summer, even calls it "home," although they’ve never discussed it. But Peter stays over there every night, eats there, goes there after work (he managed to pick up a job at a pizza place nearby, and works delivery. Wade _told_ him he didn't have to work, considering Wade's rich and everything, but Peter just spewed nonsense about work ethic and all that), so he’s technically moved in now.

Wade is just sitting in his armchair, watching an infomercial about some PJs have animal designs, which he is _seriously_ considering buying (they’re called _Pajanimals,_ how clever is that?), when Peter walks in. The aroma of pizza fills the house, and Wade turns his head to look over at his boyfriend. He looks adorable in his pizza uniform, red ball cap, polo shirt with the name of the pizzeria and a logo with a dancing pizza on it. But what looks even _better_ is the pizza he's holding in his hand.

"Are you proposing marriage or something?" Wade asks as Peter sets the pizza on the coffee table, and Wade instantly begins devouring it. Peter just sits back on the couch, his baseball cap off now, making his hair stick up with sweat. It almost makes Wade feel bad, that Peter goes out and works his ass off even though he doesn't need to, but that's the thing—Peter doesn't _need to_. He does it because he wants to, so Wade's not about to stop him.

"Nah, I would have brought a goat," Peter quips as he snatches the remote away from a very busy Wade.

[What would we do with a goat, tho?]

{You forgot the 'ugh' at the end of 'though'.}

[No, that's how us cool kids spell it, because the last part is _ugh_!]

The boxes giggle (or, at least, one of them does) and Wade compliments them on the pun, before he realizes that Peter isn't eating any pizza. He voices his concern. "Aren't you gonna have a slice, baby boy?" he inquires with a full mouth, holding out a slice of the meat lover's pizza to him, waving it around a bit, a drip of sauce falling onto the wooden surface of the coffee table.

Peter shakes his head as he flips through the channels, eventually stopping on the Discovery Channel, because Mythbusters is on and Peter likes to watch it for the science while Wade likes to watch it for the explosions. "I'm sick of pizza. I brought it for you."

That should have been enough for Wade, really. He should have just kept scarfing down the pizza and watched Mythbusters. But it's not. Instead, he's again hit with the realization that Peter is _way_ too good for him. Does anybody in the world exists who would bring a pizza just for somebody else? Wade is pretty sure Peter is the _only_ person who would do that. Not even _Aunt May_ would do that, Wade is positive.

He hasn't tried breaking up with Peter since his graduation, but—well, it needs to be done. He just… hasn't been wanting to let this go, but he _needs_ to, because that'll be better for Peter, and nothing is _ever_ about Wade and what he wants or needs.

So Wade pauses for a minute, before he says, "So. Let's break up."

Peter's surprise doesn't last long this time. He simply blinks at Wade, before the surprise on his face morphs into one that's just sort of annoyed and very tired. "Look, Wade. I had a long day. Could you not with the games?"

"I'm not playing around," Wade says, setting down his pizza. "I'm just... so busy these days. And you're busy, too." Wade's not all that busy, and other than Peter being Spider-Man and working (which really _does_ make him busy, but it's routine now), he's not, either. So it's another stupid excuse for the break up. He should _really_ start planning this out, thinking it through, but he _never_ plans things, it's not in his nature.

"You literally sat around all day in your boxers," Peter retorts, motioning with one hand at Wade, who, yes, is still in his Captain America boxers from last night. Actually, wait, these might be Peter's, which is probably why they're kind of snug on him. "You're not too busy for me. And I'm not too busy for you."

He stands up then, leaning down by Wade, who, again, is acting like a pouty kid. Peter leans in and kisses him, kinda sloppily, on the cheek, and the scars _must_ be a weird texture against his lips, how can he _stand_ that, how can he stand _Wade_? Still, the kiss makes the mercenary's cheeks heat up, and for a moment he's actually glad that the scars make it impossible for the blush to be visible.

"We can talk about this later, if you want. But we aren't breaking up." Peter says this sternly, as he's walking away. "I'm going on patrol. I don't know when I'll be back, but—save a slice of that for me, okay? There isn't any other food in the house, and I don't think I'll be feeling up to grabbing Chinese on my way back."

Wade doesn't save a slice for Peter, but when the younger man gets back, he finds his favorite Chinese dish waiting in the microwave.

***

Sometimes, Wade'll go on patrol with Peter. It's all a part of his "I'm not a bad guy! Stop calling me one!" campaign. He can't really go on patrol on his own, considering people will scream and call the cops or yell for Spider-Man (oh, the irony), but if Spider-Man is actually _with_ him, they're a little less wary. But no less annoying.

"Is this your sidekick?" a teenage boy asks, chewing the gum in his mouth annoyingly loud. Deadpool and Spidey have just saved him from a gang he apparently crossed, but these are the first words out of his mouth, not the usual 'thank you' or 'I love you, Spider-Man!'

"I'm not a _sidekick_. Why do people always ask that?" Deadpool whines, shoulders slumping, katanas scraping against the cement loudly.

"Because you look like you two matched color schemes."

"Because he _stole_ it from me! I've been at this game a lot longer than he has, you know, I was practically his _inspiration_ \--"

"Deadpool." Wade flinches. He hates when Peter calls him Deadpool. It feels... dirty. And not the _good_ dirty, either. Deadpool is his alter ego, where he puts on a mask and does bad. Deadpool isn't Wade, and Wade is _so_ glad Deadpool isn't him, though, sometimes, he feels like they’re one in the same. "C'mon, we have to go."

Deadpool sighs, dramatically, before pressing the tip of his katana to the annoying teenage boy's chest; his eyes actually start to look panicky for a second, before Deadpool says, "Remember who saved you, spudley," in a much rougher voice than normal, and leaves the kid there, frozen.

Spider-Man follows him. "It's probably gonna take a while before people stop being scared of you—hell, it took _me_ a while, and I was _always_ a good guy—but you'll get there." He sounds happy about this, as they pause on top of a building a few blocks away from that annoying teenager. They've been patrolling for an hour, maybe two, and Deadpool is already tired of it, just like he always gets. If it wasn't for Peter, he wouldn't be out here at _all_ , and especially not for two hours.

Peter works harder around Wade than he does when he's solo. He works harder because he lets Wade take some of the bad guys and also helps comfort the civilians and basically has to juggle both the situation and Deadpool, like he's taking a group of kindergartener's for a factory tour while _also_ trying to run the factory, and let the kindergartener’s help out, too. It's obviously not easy, and Deadpool would probably shoot himself rather than deal with that.

{Not that that would _do_ much, considering we'd just come back.}

[It'd still be sweet, sweet relief.]

It's been a few weeks since Wade last tried to break up with Peter. Might as well try again. "So," Wade begins. Then he stops, trying to sort through what he wants to say.

Peter lifts up his mask, something Wade almost never has the guts to do. He almost _always_ wears his mask, and he would all the time if Peter didn't make him take it off, whether it be during sex, in the shower, and just around the house in general. "Yeah?" the superhero asks, staring at Wade with his big brown eyes, and, _damn_ this is hard.

"You wrote me off the last two times, but... I'm breaking up with you. And I'm serious about it."

Peter's frustratingly calm. "What's your reason this time?"

Wade's answer probably comes to quick, since he actually had it in his head what he wanted to say this time. "You want more than I'm prepared to give. And I was never ready for a relationship, anyway, you were just very forceful."

Peter just grins. "You like it when I'm forceful."

[We really do.]

"No I don't," Wade disagrees, lying. He does like it when Peter pushes, because he _needs_ that, needs somebody to put effort into him, but Peter shouldn't have to deal with that. He's stressed out enough as it is, and so him going back to Gwen, maybe even moving to London with her, that would be _so_ much better for him. Or maybe somebody else, even, somebody who is in college and drinks wine, not beer, on the weekends, who can quote Shakespeare and talk science shit with him.

Wade couldn't do any of that if he tried. Except, maybe the drinking part.

"Yeah, you do," Peter quips.

[See? He knows it too.]

{Are we honestly going to let him win this _again_?}

Peter intends to prove his point, this Wade knows, especially when Peter pushes him down, forcing him to sit on the raised edge of the building. "I could have _fallen_ ," Wade begins, but by now Peter is on his knees in front of him, in between his legs, grinning.

"I don't usually give out sexual favors as reassurances, but..."

[Yes. Yes we are going to let him win this one.]

{I second that.}

So yeah, the blowjob is nice, _really_ nice, and pretty reassuring, too, but that's not the point. Wade isn't worried whether Peter's into him or not (he knows he is, even though it's pretty mind-boggling). Wade is worried that he's dragging Peter down.

He makes himself forget about it for a second, though. He allows himself to enjoy the moment, even though he probably doesn't deserve it.

***

Wade's beginning to get desperate.

Like, okay. If the matter of breaking it off with Peter was urgent before, it is a _code red_ now. Their relationship is getting out of hand. It's time to end it, once and for all. Because—because, okay, they've been together ten months now, close to a year, and they've _hardly_ fought. Sure, they'll bicker back and forth on occasion, but they've never had an actual fight that left one of them slamming the door behind him.

And then, while they were over at Aunt May's, visiting for dinner like a _total fucking couple_ , she mentioned marriage. It was only a joke, and Wade laughed; hell, he doesn't even remember her exact words, but it gave him a near heart attack. Marriage? _Fuckfuckfuckfuck._

It's not helped by the fact that one night, when Peter and Wade were lying on the couch like they usually do, Peter's face smushed against Wade's chest, drooling all over his shirt. But it's not annoying; actually, it's endearing.

[Please stab us.]

{Shh. We're recalling the first time that we realized we were in love with Peter.}

"You guys ruined it," Wade complains quietly as he continues searching his kitchen for something to eat. He quietly closes one of the empty cupboard's doors. "I was _trying_ to recall it in a dramatic way, and while the author wasn't doing the _best_ job, it was still pretty good."

{Why didn't he just stop us from saying that, though? Isn't he basically our god?}

[Owww, guys, this fourth wall break is making my head huuuuuurt.]

"Baby," Wade says in reply, as he grabs out the milk, which is a day after its expiration date but still almost full, and the Lucky Charms, which don't have any marshmallows left in them, thanks to both Wade and Peter picking them out of the box at random times. Nonetheless, he pours himself a bowl with too much cereal and not enough milk, before taking it out to the living room to watch TV while he eats.

It's four A.M. and the apartment is pretty quiet, other than Wade munching on his mostly-dry cereal. The TV is muted, but _Friends_ is still funny, though Wade can't bring himself to laugh. That might wake up Peter, and Wade isn't ready to deal with him yet. He can't be with Peter anymore. He wants to be, but if he is, Peter's going to suffocate under his weight, all of his issues and past problems and current ones, too. It's amazing that he hasn't yet, but if they keep going like this, he will eventually.

Wade just sets his empty bowl on the coffee table after he's done, and relaxes back onto his armchair. He almost wishes Eleanor was here right now. Her dirty blonde hair would probably be tangled right now, from the last night of sleep, and she would have a hand with a comb stuck in her hair, but her eyes would be closed, because she's too tired to actually try and get the knots out. She was so perfect. Peter doesn't even know about her, and Wade doesn't think he wants him to, because he'll never get to see her on a regular basis, maybe never again. Not with the way he is, the way he always will be.

He doesn't know how long he sits there just staring at the TV, but he jumps when Peter touches his shoulder, pulling out the gun that he keeps in the crease between the arm and the cushion of the chair. Peter just frowns at him, and he mumbles an apology before putting the gun back.

"Why are you up so early?" he asks, looking tired himself. "Or, well, up so late, if you haven't slept yet."

Wade makes his face go steely, closed off, and he says, firmly, "Peter, I'm breaking up with you."

{Oh fuck, did his face just _crumble_?}

[Like _pastries_.]

Wade can hardly stand the hurt look on Peter's face, one that he hasn't seen any of the previous times that he tried to break up with him. But he doesn't look away, because he needs to make sure Peter _believes_ this.

"Why?" Peter voice is quiet, but Wade still almost flinches.

"It's too much. All of this is _too_ _much_. And, don't get me wrong, I like you, but I don't _like_ like you. Plus, I hate the superhero thing, and I'd rather just get back to what it used to be like."

Peter's own expression turns steely, but not exactly closed off. "You said you loved me," he says, and Wade is taken aback. "You think I didn't hear you, but I did."

Wade is left speechless for once in his life.

Peter puts his face in his hands, taking a deep breath. "Look, Wade," he begins, eyes tired, "I don't know why you've been trying to break up with me since graduation, but I don't want to break up. Not now, maybe not—" He cuts off, almost like he's holding his breath now. When he lets it out, he continues. "I'm not good at the whole emotions thing either, okay? Talking about all that makes me feel vulnerable and weak, and I _hate_ that, because I'm _not._ "

There's a couple moments of silence, and Wade's not sure if Peter's done or not, and opens his mouth to speak, but then Peter cuts him off. "No. Just—shut up. You're about to spew bullshit, I can feel it. I know you. If you wanna break up, fine. Just tell me the _truth_. I want to know the _truth_ on why you want to break up with me, and then we will."

Wade doesn't want to tell the truth. He wants to lie his way out of this, but isn't this whole thing about wanting better for Peter? And what is he even _doing_? He can't lie to him without hurting him worse, and as much as Wade wants to hide behind jokes and games, he can't, not right now.

"I'm not good for you," he murmurs, and for a minute, he thinks Peter might not have heard him, but the low, disapproving sound that comes from his boyfriend's mouth says otherwise. "I mean. I've done a lot of shit in my day, and you're practically the Virgin fucking Mary compared to me. And yeah, you keep me in line, but you shouldn't have to do that. You should have someone like Gwen, who is stable and nice and cute. I've got baggage that you shouldn't have to deal with."

"And you're just assuming that I don't _want_ to deal with the baggage?"

Wade shrugs, looking away from Peter and at the TV. "Nobody does."

Suddenly, the TV turns off, and Wade's forced to look at Peter again, who tosses the remote onto the couch, out of Wade’s reach. The only light in the room is that of which is coming in through the windows, leaving them in a semi-eerie glow, one that Wade likes because that means Peter can't see him and his scars in all their fucked up glory. It makes him feel… safer.

"I guess I'm special, then. I really don't mind, Wade. If I minded, I would have left a long time ago. And I don't just keep you stable, but you balance me out, you're—" He sounds so frustrated now, like he doesn't know how else to say whatever he wants to say, and he clenches and unclenches his fist before he _does_ actually say it.

"I love you, Wade."

If this was a comedy movie, Wade would do a spit take and fall out of his chair. But this isn't a comedy movie [Right, it's a comedy fanfiction]. No, this is Peter standing in front of him, looking just as vulnerable as Wade feels. Peter _loves_ him. Honest to God _loves him_.

[Holy shit.]

{Are we gonna say it back?}

There's a few beats of silence, and Peter breaks it with, "I really hope I wasn't just dreaming when I heard you say it."

This would be the perfect moment to tell him that yeah, he was dreaming, Wade doesn't _actually_ love him. But it's also the perfect moment to tell him, fuck _yes_ he loves him, more than he's ever loved anyone or anything in this entire world, as cliché as this is.

"Nah, baby boy," he finally answers. "I love you too."

And Wade stands up and kissed the relief off of Peter's face, because he can't stand this emotional talk any longer, and he's pretty sure Peter will be okay with that.

***

Eventually Wade does tell Peter everything (all the way from his childhood to the Weapon X program), even though their feelings talks leave them feeling emotionally drained, and Wade can never get out more than a quarter of a story. Best part, though, is that the sex after that is _always_ amazing, like their bodies are trying to work it out without letting their minds getting involved.

He tells Peter about Eleanor, too. They even get to meet.

But now there's just one problem; he could hardly work up the nerve to say the L word to Peter.

[Lesbians?]

{No, you idiot, _love_.}

[Ohh. I like lesbians better.]

So, how, exactly, is he supposed to _propose_?


End file.
